Dear Abby

The sky looks like it's about to reach maximum saturation. How soon will it rupture?  Every time I glance away it darkens, as though my eyelids were drooping more heavily than they are.

Dear Abby,

   A bit of advice on couples moving in together.  Know how the other lived/would have lived alone.  How do I address my annoyances in a timely and composed manner?  Sometimes I don't even know I'm annoyed until something unrelated sets me off.  And then, I go nuts.  Crying and screaming, trying to get out what's wrong.  So it leads to headaches and guilt.  What good does that do?

*****

I often start posts and have to leave them and forget about them until I start a new one.  This just happened above.  That feels like ages ago, but demonstrates how I figure stuff out after the fact.  I compose a letter to an advice columnist in my head and try to figure out what they'd say. I don't know how/why, but it works sometimes.

I prefer Amy Dickinson, though.  Abby is just more recognizable.

Oscar's car started last night.  It's been out for quite some time now, which hasn't been that big a deal, transportation wise.  But he's been looking at cars to buy and he's super psyched about one in particular.  So imagine the sadness when Theodore turned over and started.  We'd called AAA and everything.  The tow truck driver tried jumping it.  He fiddled with some knobs and such.  He gave up and told Oscar to put it in neutral so he could tow it.  Well, the key wouldn't come out after it was put in neutral, so Oscar just decided to try starting it. One more time.  And crank . . . little turning . . . crank . . . . gas . . . . turn . . . . start.  He looked so disappointed.  He's still gonna buy the car he's been looking at. 

I'm almost too old for this

My right ear is younger than my left

I'm here now

I met with a printmaking prof at IU today. He asked why I hadn't come to see him ealier. I've been here a year (almost). What can I tell him. I was depressed. Last summer was super hard, working at Hobby Lobby, having no friends in town. I could tell him I was scared too. I didn't meet with him immediately, so I was scared I'd wasted too much time. I've done that way more than once. I let something go for a week and assume the person will be mad, so I put off contacting them more...and more. It's been almost five years since I just didn't show up to tutor students from my high school english teacher's remedial class. I just didn't show up. Can I use my grandmothers' deaths as an excuse? I should email her. Maybe the guilt of dropping that obligation is what's holding me back now. I could probably hold onto that for that long. Oh, and there's the time I just didn't call back to volunteer at Cola Museum of Art. I still get their e-mails, but I never actually volunteered.

So why didn't I meet with Art Prof sooner? It doesn't matter. I'm here now.

Slam and jab and a little direction

Slam:

Crazy-socks guy slams the door scares the shit out of me because a company messed up the order he had shipped here.  Just rude!  There was no need for him to take it out on the door.

Jab:

"It has to be something you're doing as I've never had this problem before."

Well, if you'd save your attachments to the desktop and open them from there, you wouldn't have the problem of your email window not displaying the pdf or jpg.  Unless there's a more universal file format than a jpg of a pdf.  It might also be because you use MSN!

A little direction:

I printed out some maps for the delivery guy.  He was was super thankful.  

Je vais à Montréal

Let’s get out of this country
I’ll admit I am bored with me . . .

I'm going to Montreal to watch the F1 Grand Prix du Canada with Oscar and two other people we know.


Voy a Montreal.

Starbucks or God Likes to Play with His Matchbox Cars

You WILL NOT cut me off you stupid 4-door Wrangler.  Hah! I win.  You will now wait behind me in the drive-thru at Starbucks.  You lost the race today.  

-or-

There's a little boy in the corner wearing a white bathrobe and sandals.  Despite being only six years old, he's already got a heavy white beard.  He's playing with toy cars.  They're painted with lead paint, but that doesn't matter because this little boy is God--infallible and invincible.  The Volkswagen Rabbit in his left hand pumps along the berber carpet.  But lo! In his right hand, a Land Rover zooms up around the Rabbit.  It cuts in front and does that stunt driver turn so it's perpendicular to the Rabbit.  Then God lifts the Land Rover and starts beating the Rabbit with it.  Oh. Crash.  Clank.  Thwack.  Beating, beating, pummeling!  He feels better.

Across the Universe. Too many people told me to watch it, so I am. I don't hate it. But it looks like a bunch of random thoughts tied together along a string of Beatles music. Not cohesive enough. A cross between Baz Luhrman and Dave McKean, but not in a good way. But I like the music.

Edit: Having finished watching this movie, I don't recant anything I said about it. I will add that I loved the "real" scenes, especially those in England. The trippy scenes were lame. Ooooh technicolor effects. Ooooh naked people. Just a load of kitch and camera tricks. Blah.

Just today: I hate Papyrus and I hate when people think they've told you something and gently remind you to do what they thought they'd told you to do. I have a meeting with a professor on Thursday to discuss the possibility of using the printmaking lab. Wooo! Intaglio press! Hot! I mean, I hope he deems me worthy. Eesh, I keep forgetting this is a semi-audition. BARF!!! so nervous now.

~~~~

"I Am Way Cool"

Thank you Professor, for meeting with me. This is my work. As you can see, some of it is useless, but I brought it to show you the techniques with which I am familiar. These pieces are actually what I'm more interested in. They are what I would consider exploring in grad school.

Wow, Carman! I've never seen anything as innovative as those LP pieces. Those are fucking sweet. And those layered monotypes are pretty amazing. Especially that four-color dot piece. Great exploration of color theory. I mean, neat-o. I think either of these options would be worth exploring. In fact, if you'd like to enroll for next year, we're short an instructor. You can skip the application process. I can do that, you know. Let you skip the application process.

Or. . .

Well, Carman . . . I've seen the record thing a million times. And the style of drawing is pretty cliche. Every twee girl in mary-janes and strawberry hair clips draws her birds that way. I'm sorry to tell you, but I really think you should consider options outside the art world.

"We have used Papyrus font on some of our other
signs, maybe we could try that one."

Lack of sleep it is

I went to bed at 10 pm last night, which means I got 8 whole hours of sleep.  I'm a totally different and dry person today.  No crying.  I hate it when something so simple as sleep so disrupts my existence.  I also, didn't screw up dinner last night.  It was tasty and will be again at lunch today.  

David Bowie!  

"I Am an Insolent Child"

I walked into the service department of the VW dealership in town and slammed the maintenance schedule down on their counter. 

"It says 10,000 miles between oil changes!" 

Violently poking the counter, I continued, "You scumballs are just trying to make me spend $70 twice as often as I need to.  If you weren't the only dealer in town, and if I weren't under warranty, you'd be seeing my tailpipe right now."  

I accidentally drilled my finger through the top of their counter, leaving a splintered hole as I walked to my car.  They saw my tailpipe.  Too bad they'll see my headlights in 3,000 miles.

~~~

I walked into the service department of the VW dealership in town and slammed the maintenance schedule down on their counter.

"It says 10,000 miles between oil changes!"

Violently poking the counter, I continued, "You scumballs are just trying to make me spend $70 twice as often as I need to. If you weren't the only dealer in town, and if I weren't under warranty, you'd be seeing my tailpipe right now."

"Well miss, if you'll notice that little disclaimer there." Pointing to my maintenance schedule: 

"The intervals shown in the table are based on vehicles operating under normal conditions. In the case of severe conditions, such as extremely low temperatures, excessive dust, etc., it is necessary for certain operations to be carried out between the given intervals. This applies particularly to ENGINE OIL CHANGE and the cleaning or replacing of the air cleaner filter element. Automobile technology changes continuously. Your authorized Volkswagen dealer always has the most current Service and Maintenance information for your Volkswagen model, which may differ from the check points listed in your Owner 's Manual. Your Volkswagen Service Advisor can answer any questions you may have."

"Oh. But still. Idonwanna change my oil every 5,000 miles.  It's synthetic."

"But don't you want to take good care of your car so it will last longer and in better health?"

"--"

"--"

"Yes."

They saw my tailpipe tucked between my back wheels as I drove away after the 5,000 mile oil change.

Does Claritan/Loratadine make you epically cranky?

Or is it just my lack of sleep.

Don't let your cats climb on stuff because they'll knock something over and you'll scream at them and then cry.

Don't mix condensed soup, tuna, and frozen vegetables.  Then, don't try to put refrigerator biscuits on top.  Then, don't expect the tuna glop to be warm or the biscuits to not be burned on top and goo on the bottom.  If you do, you'll throw a spoon (plastic) and then cry.

Don't try to place a WordPerfect file into InDesign.  Don't try to convert it to any other file format.  Don't spend too much time trying to get the antiquated file format to open.  You won't cry because you're at work, but you'll grind your teeth, and stare at the floor and want to be home so you can cry.

Just don't do anything.  Just go home and watch TV because you will fuck up tonight's dinner.  And you will cry.  And you will stay up too late and take loratadine in the morning.  And it'll all happen again tomorrow. 

I'm Make Other People Over Think Stuff Girl.  I'm here to save you from simple solutions.  I'm going to tell you I have a simple solution.  I'll try to explain the simple solution, but in trying not to assume how much you might know, I'll mumble and leave out concepts.  So when you finally try to execute your plan, you'll actually spend 2 hours sorting and saving and filing.  That way, I get to suffer through figuring out how to work with your files.  That's my thing.  My power center is my own need to make things harder for myself.  

I cut off my forehead

I cut my hair on Saturday.  It's a bit longer than chin length and comes with BANGS (are that on which the world hangs)!!  Pictures later.