why isn't this me? I want to feel that much love. I want to come home 8 days in a row and not cry any of them.

I had a dream that I was trapped in a restaurant with an evangelical christian. kill me please. He wouldn't let me not tell him what I was. I woke up feeling lonely.

I have NO friends here. Sorry to whine and all, but it's only one person (Oscar) from being the absolute truth. It's been a month since I've talked to anyone besides Oscar or one of my 4 co-workers. Who are all men. Who are all way older than me. And Oscar's never home. I'm sooo tired of food. Why cook when it's just for me. I did his laundry yesterday because he's really overwhelmed. And I got this sad, youshouldn'thaveIfeelguiltyyoudid, thank you. I just want to kick him and tell him to thank me like a man. That I did it because I thought he'd appreciate it. At least he was relieved I used his quarters to do it.

Why is meeting friends so hard. You can't just tap a random stranger at Barnes and Noble and say "Hey, be my friend." I hate this.