My cat sits on my laptop but not my lap

Wedgie has taken to sitting on my open laptop. I try to remember to close it. And more often than not I do. But when I forget, my cat Google's things like 4555555555555555555555 and types things like:
"Dear potential employers,
My name is Carman Lewis. I have a KOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUL8;aaaa777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777
777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777
xzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz90."

She also printed the above cover letter and a photograph of me. Maybe she's trying to get me a job. As an actress?

*edit: I was cleaning off my desktop and found a picture. It was a screen capture done by Wedgie while she was bookmarking my Google search "guarantee." I was looking to see how to spell it.