One Week, One Day

I'm leaving for Los Angeles to visit Alana. I'm super excited. Just one week left. My moping is drastically reduced when I remember my impending departure.

Random

When I see the word "slaughter," I always read it as though it were pronounced like laughter. A quick google search indicates that this is not unique. Damn google!

I've been running low the last two months and one week. And I'm going to say the dumbest thing anyone could ever say, but I wish people didn't die. I guess I'm just at the kind of meh stage of grieving. Yesterday was my aunt's birthday. And it's weird. I kept spontaneously crying all day. Most of the time it was just leaky tear ducts. But a few times, I had full on break downs. The whole time, I kept thinking how I wanted to talk to my mom. Just someone to say, "I know sweetie. It is hard. You grew up with her. She was an influential part of your life." Maybe throw in a few sympathetic grunts and hmms. But that's not what I've got. I'm not sure if that's ever what I would have gotten from my mom, but for sure, I'd have gotten maybe an "aww," but then a quick segue to something that's been bothering her.

So I called my aunt Linda instead. Guess what she said to me. "I know sweetie. It is hard. You grew up with her. She was an influential part of your life." And then we talked about bookshelves and movies. My aunt Linda is the master of strategic small talk. She acknowledged how I was feeling. Didn't try to make it go away. Commiserated, and then talked about something else.

So here's what I know about Marilyn. She was from New York, like gargoyles, had dogs for children. That's it. She had the most beautiful smile. In my childhood, when things seemed nice, she was vivacious and smiled a lot. She made her own pasta. Then sometime, fifteen years ago, my whole family seemed to just get tired. We weren't as happy as we had been. It was like everybody gave up on going all out for each other. Then they gave up on being nice. Eventually, they gave up on being considerate. Marilyn stopped trying so hard, but she never stopped trying to be nice. She shielded me and my brother from the rockiness of the relationships between our family members.

Update on the McSweeney's

I forgot to mention it sooner...

My McSweeney's are great. Funny thing though. Remember in my emailing to the office? How I said if they were heavy and from Seattle my week would be made? Well, one of the boxes had been used to ship condoms to Planned Parenthood. Gah, I should have taken a photo. But the box was labeled "1000 Clear Lubricated Condoms" and "Planned Parenthood." So yeah, make my week.

Immediacy now.

Right now, Euler is sitting beside me, resting his nose on my forearm. Just the tip. Just one tiny, vaguely cold point of rest on my arm. Such a minute thing to focus on, but it's keeping me from thinking about how today is my aunt's birthday, only she's too dead to celebrate it.

Caffeine glasses

What was I thinking? Two shots of espresso!? I'm not happily bouncing about. My peripheral vision and concentration are nada. Bah.

Coffee Coffee Coffee

I stopped at Starbucks today. I ordered one of their pairings: tall latte and oatmeal. Oatmeal? Yum. Tall lattes? Meh. I only taste milk, so today I asked that they make it like a short latte?less milk. I didn't mind being charged for a tall. I just wanted it to taste better. The barista, who looked a bit like Gregory Hines, accepted that, but looked up, smiled, and said, "I'll do you one better. How bout I just put in two shots of espresso."

Yes please!

Thank you.

It's perfect.

What? Only Wednesday?

Just a venting e-mail I wish I could send to a client

Hi *******,
To start, I am painfully aware that I messed up your letterhead, but you're being big about it and using what you've got. However, you saw them before I printed them. You approved the print. You really don't need to passive-aggressively remind me that they were wrong. You could very easily have asked that they be reprinted. I'm sure we would have done it at no extra charge. But you would rather hold it over me. We've already printed something to your satisfaction since. So from now on, I'd appreciate it if you could just let it go. I will remember you're a bitch and will pay extra attention to your jobs without you having to say a word.
Thanks

Pet Peeve # 2839

Long e-mail addresses. Example:

janeelizabethpeterson@janeelizabethpetersongraphicdesigns.com

No, it's not a real e-mail address. I hope. Also it is an exaggeration, but not by much.

Money money money

Holy easy money batman. Uh, my state tax return has already been deposited in my savings account. I filed my taxes a week ago!!!

The Compleat McSweeney's have arrived!

Hello Carman,
I just wanted to make sure you knew there were two packages at the office for you. I believe a substitute mail carrier brought them a few weeks ago so he might not have left a note for you.

Thank you!

***

Hi,
Thanks for the notice. I didn't receive a note. I will be in tomorrow afternoon to pick them up. If you tell me they're heavy and from Seattle, you'll make my week.
Thanks,
Carman

***

They are heavy and from Seattle!

Caffeine for Blood

I must do something about the coffee situation at work. Blegh. This merely means I will have to start making and bringing in my own. Yum.

53 minutes

That's my president

I am occasionally flooded with a warm feeling, knowing that Obama is president. I realize how irrational it is. But I'm going to enjoy it. I hope things last. His approval rating and all that jazz. People just need to be patient, but I understand it's tough when you're facing foreclosure and unemployment. But even if things don't ever get better in those departments, things have a way of adjusting. People are amazingly adaptable. Of course, housing and unemployment will recover in time.

270 minutes til I can scoot.

Coraline

Like Mirromask and Nightmare Before Christmas bumped bits, which is like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie bumping bits. Perfect, adorable babies with odd, but adorable names. And John Hodgman...swoon.

I've Just Changed My Title

I'm feeling a need for a little change, but I'm in a kind of mopey mood, which makes me want an introspective and deep angle here on my public diary (Leonardo DiCaprio...swoon). Tough noogies. I know better. Two weeks after any attempt I make at public depth, I regret it. I feel squirmy and uncomfortable. Knowing this inevitable reaction, I've decided to go wacky and zany. When I was a kid, in the throws of a temper tantrum, my dad would call me Carmanasaurus. I've added the Rex because Carmanasaurus alone is kinda empty. Plus, I can refer to the itty bitty arms.

I might be about to enter my very own mid-twenties existential crisis, so I expect the name will change again.

Sorry I'm treating this like twitter,

but I've added a Blogger tab to my Google homepage and it doesn't have any formatting options, but it does allow for posting my whims. For instance, boredom makes me extremely unproductive.

and shit.

So, 7:42 am and already, I'm counting the minutes till I make my escape.